Sunday, January 23, 2011

What used to be there?

What did I used to think about?

I can't remember, but my mind is always racing - so I know there was something occupying the space that "it" now takes up.

I laid down to take a much needed nap after church today.  An hour later I looked up and realized that I had laid there thinking about "it" for at least half of my precious nap time.

"It" is diabetes.  Sometimes, I hate "it".

I laid there for an hour with my eyes closed thinking...

"Is carb factoring really superior to carb counting?  There was that one time that I used carb factoring for birthday cake and it came out great.  Is it worth the learning curve it will take to be proficient at it on the fly?  Can I even understand it?  Will Chuck be resistant to it?  Does anyone I know use it and I've just somehow missed it?  Will her a1c suffer?  Is her a1c really that good?  Is it abnormally good for a 1 yr old or are other endo's just more aggressive?  Am I doing enough?  Will Faith take good care of herself in the future?  What will I do if she doesn't?  Is it a rule that she will rebel against her diabetes care as a teen?  Is it possible she won't?  Do I know anyone who hasn't?  I need to look for someone who hasn't and study that situation.  How can I help her accept and embrace it? Oh, I hear Ruby coming...Already??  What time is it?  WHAT!??  I've been laying here for an HOUR??"

Good grief...Obsess much?  No wonder I'm tired.  

1 comment:

  1. When Sugar was little, I used to think about D non-stop. It's incredibly taxing :( I still think about it all the time...but I trust her school nurse so well at this point that I literally drop her off and let my brain rest unless they call.

    I do find, however, that when I get genuine quiet time to myself, my brain often starts spinning and it's hard to make it stop.

    As for carb factoring, we've never done it. Seems like a great way to manage home made baked nearly 6 years with D, it hasn't been a priority....maybe I'll try to learn more about it next year...who knows!


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