What did I used to think about?
I can't remember, but my mind is always racing - so I know there was something occupying the space that "it" now takes up.
I laid down to take a much needed nap after church today. An hour later I looked up and realized that I had laid there thinking about "it" for at least half of my precious nap time.
"It" is diabetes. Sometimes, I hate "it".
I laid there for an hour with my eyes closed thinking...
"Is carb factoring really superior to carb counting? There was that one time that I used carb factoring for birthday cake and it came out great. Is it worth the learning curve it will take to be proficient at it on the fly? Can I even understand it? Will Chuck be resistant to it? Does anyone I know use it and I've just somehow missed it? Will her a1c suffer? Is her a1c really that good? Is it abnormally good for a 1 yr old or are other endo's just more aggressive? Am I doing enough? Will Faith take good care of herself in the future? What will I do if she doesn't? Is it a rule that she will rebel against her diabetes care as a teen? Is it possible she won't? Do I know anyone who hasn't? I need to look for someone who hasn't and study that situation. How can I help her accept and embrace it? Oh, I hear Ruby coming...Already?? What time is it? WHAT!?? I've been laying here for an HOUR??"
Good grief...Obsess much? No wonder I'm tired.
When Sugar was little, I used to think about D non-stop. It's incredibly taxing :( I still think about it all the time...but I trust her school nurse so well at this point that I literally drop her off and let my brain rest unless they call.
ReplyDeleteI do find, however, that when I get genuine quiet time to myself, my brain often starts spinning and it's hard to make it stop.
As for carb factoring, we've never done it. Seems like a great way to manage home made baked goods...in nearly 6 years with D, it hasn't been a priority....maybe I'll try to learn more about it next year...who knows!