I hate these words and the fact that when it comes to diabetes I often can't respect them, when Faith is screaming for me to stop.
We are having a major "I hate diabetes" day around here...and of course it happens on the day that I have to change her pump.
Normally Faith is a trooper and will lay down still and quiet while I insert her pump.
Me: "Faith, where do you want your pump today?" (We rotate sites, but I allow her to choose where as much as possible)
Faith: "In the couch."
Me: "In the couch? haha No, baby, where on YOU do you want your pump?"
Faith: through tears "I want my 'bump' IN the COUCH!"
Me: "I know baby. I'm sorry. We have to put it on you, though, so where should we put it?"
Faith: now falling apart "NO, Mommy!! Pweeease NO! Put it in the couch!!"
Me: "Baby girl, I can't put it in the couch and you've had it out for a while for your bath - we've got to put it in now. See Ruby? She's telling me your blood sugar is getting too high. We need to get it in. Do you want me to put it in your bottom today? Do you wanna try the back of your arm?"
Faith: now a puddle in the floor "No, Mommy! Pwease don't stick me, PWEASE!! DON'T. STICK. ME. PWEASE!"
Her blood sugar is just getting higher and higher. At this point I have no choice but to ignore her pleas and insert her infusion set.
She screams and kicks away from me and the set comes out.
So, now, not only do I have to stick her with a needle through her screams for me to stop - I have to do it twice.
At this point I'm ready to be laying in the floor crying with her.
The next time I make sure I hold her down better - which only makes me feel worse and her more upset - and get her pump inserted and taped down good, before she has a chance to kick free.
By the time it was over she'd gotten so upset she was throwing up. I had to rock her for at least twenty minutes afterward to calm her down.
During her nap her bg shot up to 350 and stayed there despite a correction. Please tell me this site hasn't already gone bad! Not today!
About an hour later her bg started to come down. No extra pump change needed. Thank you, Jesus.
There are certainly worse things, but some days I really hate diabetes.