Most days I get so caught up in the hourly, sometimes minute by minute, challenge of managing Faith's diabetes that I really don't stop to dwell on the "what-if's". That really is a blessing. There are too many "what-if's" and none of them are good.
Today, however, there was no getting away from those scary thoughts that I try to keep pushed to the back of my mind.
First thing this morning, I heard that a Type 1 family lost their precious 13 year old daughter to this ugly disease. It happened in a way that I believe to be the most terrifying to think about. No, I don't know this family personally. Before today I had never heard their names. But, I know the nightmare they've lived with. I know the sleepless nights. I know the fears they must have had, that surely they believed would never happen to them. I feel this overwhelming sadness for them today. By all accounts this family did everything they could to manage their daughter's diabetes. They were proactive, caring, diligent, on top of it.
This fact makes the news an increasingly bitter pill to swallow.
It would be easier if I could find some fault. Some fault to pull out of this story to make myself feel better. You know, "Oh, well they weren't careful enough to (fill in the blank)." Or, "I am more watchful about this or that."
The truth is this couldn't have been prevented and is a very real possibility for any of us living with trying to manage this monster.
But, it wasn't us this time. It was Eilish's family. My heart is breaking for this family. For Eilish's little sister, Ella.
Oh, how I hope for a cure.
Y'all pray for the families mourning the loss of their little Type 1 angels. Pray also for all the families that are filled with fear and unable to sleep tonight because of this sobering reminder of how fragile life is. This reminder of how sneaky and unpredictable this monster called Diabetes can be.
It is more eloquently written about at Candy Hearts Blog and Beta Buddies. Be sure to check out those touching posts.
So, today has been one of those rough days. I've been fighting back tears all day. Not wanting to face the reality of this. Not wanting JC, Grace, and Eli to see me and start asking questions. Trying to focus on the positives. Thanking GOD that I still have my little Faith. Thankful that her brothers and sister aren't mourning the way little Ella is.
Trying not to allow the devil to take this and fill me with fear.
God is still in control.
He is who He was yesterday... and He will be tomorrow. No matter what tomorrow brings.
Love y'all. Hug your babies extra tight tonight.